• The Wound

    As I walked out of the garage door, boxes stacked three high in my arms, my foot hit the driveway half on pavement, half on grass. Before even realizing it, boxes went flying and I fell knee first. Usually when I or someone else falls I get a pretty good laugh in because that kind of thing is funny to me. On this day, it was not funny. I was alone trying to get one more load moved from the old house to the new house. My first thought was “I HATE THIS!!!!” It just seemed to add to the confusion and pain I was already enduring. At first I didn’t even feel it. I was numb. After mumbling something about my annoyance , I felt the throb in my knee. When I looked down, my knee was pouring blood. I didn’t even care. I just rolled my eyes and said “Great!”. The pain became more and more intense. That week, the wound was so sensitive. If anything came near it, I would cover it to protect it. I couldn’t sleep without it hurting. I couldn’t go one moment of the day without being reminded of it  because it hurt. It was a gaping wound.  After a little doctoring the wound began to heal. It was gross and gooey and still hurt but the pain was not deep anymore. It finally scabbed over and became less sensitive. I was still reminded of it if something hit it or rubbed against it. After that stage the healing was complete but there was a scare. I will never forget that injury because I can look down and see the evidence of the fall on my knee. I rarely notice it and sometimes forget about it. When I see the scar, it doesn’t bring me pain anymore but I will never forget it.

    It is no coincidence that this happened when it did. God clearly compared the body healing to spiritual and emotional healing that day. When injury happens, how do I know what to expect? What’s ok for me to feel? What’s ok for me to think? How long should the process take?

    Let’s take a look at injuries in life. We all have them. The first reaction is shock. When I first fell, I didn’t feel the pain of it all. The same was true when I received my wound. I was in shock even though I felt I had been prepared in some ways and even had an idea. You tell yourself this can’t be happening.  Even preparation can’t prepare you for some news. I walked around numb for a few days just trying to figure things out. The second stage is the gushing blood coming from your wound. This is a time when all you can do is sob, pray and hurt so bad that you think you can’t endure any more pain. It’s like the truth of the matter comes completely to light for you to deal with. Nothing can stop it, you just have to bleed for a little while. After you stop the constant gushing of emotions the wound begins to heal. This part is not pretty. Have you ever skinned your knee then take the bandaid off and drainage comes off with it? It’s ugly and still painful but the wound has to be cared for. You can’t just move on and act like nothing happened. This process seems like it will never end. I was told that God will take you deeper in the pain so that deeper healing can be done. He will comfort you in these times. One day you feel like you have the hope of your future, the next day you can barely get out of bed. You are not going backwards, you are being healed deeper. Anything that reminds you of the injury hurts. A look, a word… ANYTHING! It’s ok to hurt and natural to try and protect yourself.

    The next stage is a deeper healing. The scab begins to form. The injury no longer consumes every thought, every conversation and every moment. The wound is still there and if the scab is hit directly, it will break the wound open again and begin to bleed for a while. This happened to me. I was so far along feeling so free and one thought prompted by one conversation sent a rush of pain and memories that I hadn’t dealt with in months. The healing was not complete. There were still things that had to be healed in me and molded God’s way. Although I felt the sting of this pain again, my recovery was so much faster.

    The final stage is the scar. You and everyone else can see that you have a scare but it isn’t the main thing you see. It’s only a reminder. You can talk about it with no pain, you can bump it on things and it doesn’t hurt. Your leg looks a little different and you will never forget it but the healing has taken place.

    I’ve had to learn to allow the stages to happen. God wants to heal us through our circumstances, not around them. Trials bring purification and faith. Injuries are going to happen. Give yourself time to heal and walk through it. Dodging it only makes you stay in the gross, gooey stage. Deal with it so healing can be completed. Scares are ok. People say that their tragedy didn’t define them but mine did. It changed my life and my perspective. I will never be the same and that is something I am thankful for. I know there are so many people looking for answers in the middle of their wound. Keep pressing forward and don’t waste your time questioning every step. Healing will come.

    Isaiah 53:4-5 Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God,stricken by him, and afflicted.But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.


  • Your Strength or His?

    Galatians 3:2 Let me ask you this one question: Did you receive the Holy Spirit by obeying the law of Moses? Of course not! You received the Spirit because you believed the message you heard about Christ. How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? 4 Have you experienced so much for nothing? Surely it was not in vain, was it? I ask you again, does God give you the Holy Spirit and work miracles among you because you obey the law? Of course not! It is because you believe the message you heard about Christ.

    You received the Holy Spirit as a gift. You received because you believed. We as Christian spin our wheels trying to do the right thing and be the right person when what we need to do is believe the right thing. You may say… Are you telling me all I have to do is believe??? Well, we act out of our beliefs. If you believe God is who he says he is and can do what he says he can do then you will begin to act like it. Faith is believing. I have asked myself a million times in my life, “What am I doing wrong?”. I was genuinely trying to act a certain way to get the desired reaction from God. “If He is pleased with this then this will happen.” He is not moved by our action, he is moved by our faith. You will live a life pleasing, holy and acceptable to the Lord if you have faith. I love the fact that it says, After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?

    I have had the privilege to talk to many hurting women who have said… I never thought my life would go in this direction or I never thought this tragedy would happen to me. We cannot control the future and we have no idea of what lies ahead. Life comes and it doesn’t always set you up for perfection you hoped for. I am so challenged when I read, “Have you experienced all of this for nothing!?? Surely it was not in vain.” What a scripture! What happens to you is no accident. Are your steps not order by God as the Word says? I’m sure the Galatian church began to say “why me, why us, why are we being persecuted, aren’t we being good Christians???” Paul walks up to these people and gets in their face and basically said, What is wrong with you people! Stop trying to do Spiritual things out of human strength.

    My challenge to you today is, Believe what God says and stop trying to work spiritual things out with human strength. Pray instead of calling a friend, seek God in the Word instead of analyzing the details and allow Him to speak to your heart. In Mark 9, the disciples are healing the sick and casting out demons in the name of Jesus. There was one boy that was demon possessed and the disciples could not cast this demon out. The father explains this to Jesus and asks him to cast the demon out if he could.  “What do you mean, ‘If I can?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” This troubled the disciples and they asked why they were unable to do this. Jesus then said, “This can only be cast out by prayer”.  This scripture holds the answer to how we handle spiritual matters with spiritual weapons. Keys for us… belief in the Word and prayer. You will not only benefit with victory but also you will not wear yourself out fighting with your physical abilities. Your experiences or challenges have not been in vain. I see the miracle of mine and I am confident, you will too!